Actually, a couple last things. I’m ready to move on from this exploration of turning 70, but first, in no particular order…………
SUGAR IS THE DEVIL –
My son used to say “women are the devil”, but since he married one and they gave birth to one, I’m assuming he got over that misconception. But sugar really is.
I wish I could pinpoint the moment I decided to get serious about taking care of my physical self.
Maybe it was my sore, swollen knees climbing stairs in a three story house. Maybe it was looking at pictures (the few I allowed) of our trips to the east coast. Maybe it was my husband who decided to “cut down” and immediately dropped 30 pounds. Maybe all the words I’ve read and heard finally dropped into the appropriate slots of my brain like a pinball machine. I don’t know.
About two months ago I decided two things – first, to give up sugar as much as possible. No cookies and ice cream. No pie. No candy bars when I’m out and about running errands. It is a hard thing to stand in the check out line and resist the call of candy.
The second is to eat nothing after my last bite of dinner. No Thing. It’s been revolutionary. To begin with, I feel more honest. Instead of walking passed Doug at 7 p.m. with a cookie-filled hand stuffed in my pocket, I just walk passed Doug. Instead of checking if he’s asleep in front of the TV at 9 p.m. so I can grab the chip bag and a couple more cookies, I don’t have to check on him at all. I just continue doing whatever non-eating thing I’m doing. Plus, my digestive system is really happy for the break. (hope that wasn’t too much information…)
I share these words humbly because I know myself. I can crash and burn at any moment. I am typing on the third floor of the house with no one around. If a candy bar fell from the ceiling, it’s questionable how I would react.
P.S. – grandkids were here on the weekend and I had energy – this is working!
PICK ONE THING –
My mind is full all the time with all the things I want to do.
There is a list of what I want to do and learn. I have a book outlined and partially written. Shelves of books to read and five in process right now. There is a quilt cut out, ready to sew and a Christmas project three years overdue. Two online courses are calling out to be finished. Ugly wall paper needs to come down. The paint is waiting.
When it’s two o’clock in the afternoon and I have a couple free hours, the choices are overwhelming and I don’t know where to start. So I sit down to read, fall asleep and another day goes by like the one before.
So I picked one thing that makes me most happy.
Early every morning, same place, same time, I work on that one thing. I set my timer for 30 minutes, but always go longer. It’s been two weeks and progress is happening. And if there is time in the afternoon, I work on it some more… or read a book and fall asleep. I just don’t feel guilty about that now.
Grateful Expectation –
There is a thing that floats through my mind. A lot. I’m reluctant to write it down because I might have to believe it. It is this… perhaps these years where I’ve felt put aside in this out of the way place, is really a gift. A gift of time to sort out the mess and go forward with more intention.
When it comes to planning a life or a marriage, Doug and I win no awards. We’ve crashed our way through by the “seat-of-your-pants” method. So it’s a little unrealistic to expect everything to fall into place now. But we’re working on it. A couple short term goals this year, another for 2020. We’re not planning a whole lifetime. We’re planning to live well the time that is left.
Earlier this month, Doug complimented a guy in the Costco parking lot on his trailer hitch. I mean, who compliments a guy’s trailer hitch?? He and his wife had sold their home, bought a nifty truck and travel trailer and hit the road. The previous year her mother, who lived with them, had passed away. Out of the blue she turns to me and says, “I know it’s hard, but you won’t regret this time with your mom… you’ll know you’ve done what you need to do and everything that needs to be said will be said”. I can’t disagree with that heartfelt testimony.
In the meantime, I will cook the dinner and clean the mess without grumbling (mostly). I will love my family and enjoy the moments we have together. I will write some words, read the books, take the pictures and sew the seams. In the morning I will drink coffee out of my favorite coffee mug.
And I will spend time with God.
I will trust that He is guiding my steps and working His plan because He Said He Would.
2 thoughts on “the age of reality… one last thing”
I love to read your musings, thanks.
This time, however, I must tell you how disappointed I am–I still remember the delicious cookies that you and your mom served when we came to visit. The thought of those not being available distresses me.
Seriously, I’m glad if you’re feeling better.
Have no fear, Natalie! There will always be cookies for company! Plus, I don’t want to be too militaristic – – I’ll have a treat now and then. 🙂