i thought you’d be here in the morning

~~my journal 2/18/2020 - "death is so sudden, even tho we were waiting.  I wish I'd taken time last night - - but no, I just wanted to finish washing dishes and mom is always so needy.  I'm glad I checked on her.  She said she felt strange and should we worry about it.  I …

Continue reading i thought you’d be here in the morning

6 hours

We leave moments after the caregiver arrives.  Friday.  11 a.m.   I feel relieved to go and guilty at the same time. He takes the long way around to the coast.  We drive for two hours through beauty that should be enjoyed and photographed, but I keep nodding off.  No pictures.  No conversation. I am tired …

Continue reading 6 hours

stop running

A few months back, searching for an old Halloween photo, I found this picture.  We had moved to a new home, in a new subdivision, several miles south of San Francisco.  I know this to be true because my dad's beloved and well maintained lawn, flower garden, fence and side yard fish pond didn't exist …

Continue reading stop running

with or without you…

"Almost everything will work again if you unplug it for a few minutes, including you."  ~ Anne Lamott Life rolls on, even if you're not ready, with or without you.  Well, I guess you have to go. But I have not been rolling gracefully. So I'm going to try Anne's remedy and unplug.  The theory …

Continue reading with or without you…

one journey ~~ 18,250 days…

When you google how couples stay married for 50 years, you will find many articles such as, "16 Relationship Secrets" and "Four Couples Spill the Secret to Lasting Love".  You will find videos of cute couples gazing adoringly at one another.  One of my favorite parts of the movie, When Harry Met Sally, are the …

Continue reading one journey ~~ 18,250 days…

…”other times by surprise”

  The hours listed on this sign may not be a good formula for business success, but it is funny. Other times by surprise. What does that mean?  I want to know.  When are the surprise days?  Would I drop by the other four looking for the surprise day?  Would I ignore the open days …

Continue reading …”other times by surprise”

the memory keeper… war and shaving edition

    A couple years ago I bought four plastic totes and labeled one for each son.  As I unpacked boxes from the past, I dropped whatever belonged to a boy in his own box.  They overflowed pretty fast.  Realizing it was silly to keep elementary school papers for a guy in his mid-40s, I …

Continue reading the memory keeper… war and shaving edition