My life has changed a lot. Suddenly. Although it wasn’t a surprise. I knew it was coming. I boastfully said, “I can do this”.
I retired from my job a week and a half ago…. traveled for an anniversary celebration with my parents…. then hit the road back home. But “Home” is a vague place.
The old one is a mess, only half empty. It will sit vacant until repairs are done and ready to rent. Family photos and artwork that graced it’s walls are packed and stored. I miss them.
The place we have gone to is not ours – we are simply caretakers of the one who lives inside. And she most definitely fills that space.
I feel loss. I am disoriented. I miss the pots and pans and dishes so familiar to me.
Will I be able to make a proper meat loaf without the tools my hands are comfortable with?
Did my sense of peace and calm get packed in a box too? Or will it find me where I am?
Do I still get to be me? Or maybe a better me…. a God refined me. I would like that.
This morning the husband left for two weeks of work related travel.
It is just she and me. For two weeks.
No – that’s wrong. It is God, she and me. I’ll be counting on Him more than ever. A good thing. Yes.
And I will make meatloaf for Sunday dinner. I know the recipe. The tools shouldn’t matter.